Erick Irias,  Proverbs

Proverbs 5 | The Lethal Stranger

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  1. A Particular Danger (Prov. 5:1-6)
  2. The Wages of Adultery (Prov. 5:7-14)
  3. Marriage: Provision from God (Prov. 5:15-19)
  4. The Obvious End for The Adulterer (Prov. 5:20-23)

In this proverb, Solomon is advising to his son to honor his wife and also to flee from the immoral woman. Practically speaking, Solomon is instructing to his son, but this same advises will apply to women in the same tone.

During our study in this chapter, we will be refreshing some principles of wisdom that we can find thorough all the Bible for our marital life and (extending the application of some of the text) also wisdom for singles.

Marriage is an institution by God and is a blessing for man and woman. It is a gift from God, and He is pleased when two persons -male and female- get together in marriage and pact in vow to God and one each other to love and serve to one another.

Genesis 2:18 – “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.””

Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Proverbs 31:10 – “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.”

Mark 10:6-9 – “But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Man and woman should love and honor each other until death. They must live in fidelity. Infidelity -adultery- is sin as it goes against God’s commandments (Period). Nothing can justify to cheat on the spouse (Period). Sex is only allowed and can be only consumed and enjoyed in this institution (Period).

The marriage should honor God, the spouse, the family, the church. It is the basic unit and our first ministry. Die to ourselves and serve our spouse should be our daily goal in our marriage life. The issue begins when we want to satisfy only our selfish desires and we start going against the Word of God which is very clear regarding the marital duties for both parties. When we are mature in the Word and we are strong in our relationship with God in prayer, we can identify temptations and we will be growing our relationship with our spouses instead.

Remember that it is our marital responsibility to apply and comply with the roles stablished by God and if we fail, it is because our own sin and not other’s. We cannot blame others (my spouse, a third person, friends…) or justify this behavior with any reason. You are responsible of your decision.

A Particular Danger (Prov. 5:1-6)

(Prov. 5:1-2): How many times has Solomon said this before? We can find the same phrase several times in the first four proverbs and within the rest of the book. He is trying to stablish the severity and importance of the advice and commandment he is about to tell his son.

Here we go:
(Prov. 5:3-4): The stranger or immoral woman is referring to a woman that is not his wife. Some comments refer to her as a prostitute, but the general concept is about a woman who obviously is not looking for something godly but to entice the man and make him stumble.

Remember: These principles would apply the same for a daughter to warn her about the immoral man; but Solomon is talking to his son here. Just have that in mind and if you are a woman, listen up as this apply to you as well.

“The lips of an immoral woman drip honey”: The word honey refers to an ease of convince and tell the right things to make someone fall. May also refer to a temptation that can’t be detected from distance. Now when the text talk about “her mouth is smoother than oil” we can realize that anyone can be fooled without suspect about it. It is a subtle strategy, and we can think there is nothing wrong with it.

Starts with innocent conversations and moves to other directions: Compliments, jokes, comments… It is a progression.

In the Old Testament, oil is synonym of happiness and solemnity; so, we can think there is nothing bad in the conversation that is being held. The intention is undercover, and we don’t realize the danger.

Talking about conversations:

We are all vulnerable. Be careful with the communication with persons in the opposite sex. No matter if we don’t have a bad intention, we need to be careful anyways. We don’t know what the other person could think or feel about a compliment, a nice word or a touch in the arm. I’m not saying we cannot be kind and congratulate people for something; but just be intentional on not give “too much”. An easy filter to know if I can say something to someone is to ask to yourself if you can say it in front of my spouse or the other person’s spouse.

Same with single people. If both are single: is the word you will say something that could be misunderstood or may be suggesting something inappropriate? Remember the other person is not your spouse and you should consider her/him as somebody else’s until you get marry with that person. All conversations should exalt and preserve purity and sanctity.

It is wisdom to a man and woman to never be alone in a room if they are not married. That’s why guys cannot disciple ladies alone. If for some reason you should meet with somebody in the opposite sex, do it in public or with some whiteness. It is wisdom to avoid ANY situation that can lead to sin.

Going back to “The lips of an immoral woman drip honey”, discretion should be applied here. Don’t listen or try to receive compliments from other’s than your spouse. Also, you don’t need to say “nice” words to anyone that is not your spouse. Maybe you can have a good intention, but the flesh is flesh and the imagination starts to fly. Seduction, self-convincement and self-denial regarding sin start to pop up in our heads. It will bring just bitterness and death (nothing good). Be careful. Remember: Everything that speaks against God’s commandments is not from God. Marriage is a covenant with God. It is a pact. There is not excuse. It will never be about emotions, desires, feelings, the moment… No. It is about what is true in the Word of God and the pact with Him.

(Prov. 5:5-6): We discussed in the last chapters about the way of the wicked with the only destination of destruction. Each person will fall in his own sin. It is a tragedy. It will cut you to pieces. Allowing to fall in this temptation will destroy you.

If you fall and your repent, obviously God will forgive you, and maybe your spouse also BUT this offense will remain in the relationship and is a long process of healing to recover the trust of your spouse and family. The damage is done.

Avoid this wicked way to avoid going through all this pain. We will see later on this chapter more about the consequences of adultery.

The Wages of Adultery (Prov. 5:7-14)

(Prov. 5:7): Treasure the wisdom. What does the Word of God say about all this? Grow in your studies and relationship with God. He is the source of all wisdom. Think and meditate in the Word. The objectives: to know God, to be transformed, to follow God’s Word, to obey. We need the whole counsel in all time. Not only in difficulties or bad situations. It is for ALL times. If the bible says no, it is no. Don’t try to change the Word of God to adjust it to your agenda and desires. Don’t wait until you “need” the wisdom to go to the source of wisdom. Don’t wait to get your fire extinguisher until the fire arises.

(Prov. 5:8): Remember from last chapter: Proverbs 3:14-15 – “Do not enter the path of the wicked, And do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it. Turn away from it and pass on.”

We can note 4 actions to take:

  1. Do not enter the path. It is a decision!
  2. Avoid it. Do not travel on it!
  3. Turn away from it. Get out immediately!
  4. Pass on. Don’t stop there. Pass on!

Don’t play on it. Don’t overestimate yourself. Don’t take the risk!

1 Corinthians 10:12 – “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.”

Ecclesiastes 7:26 – “And I find more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God shall escape from her,

But the sinner shall be trapped by her.”

If you are having struggles at the restaurant you are going every day to eat lunch, or at the cafeteria in your way to work, or at your workplace, or doing your garden at the same moment than your neighbor… Do the change. Avoid these places or change how you behave. Pick another table, ask for delivery, request a change of your cubicle, change your schedule for mowing the lawn… Etc. Don’t take the risk to stay in the same way.

(Prov. 5:9-11): Sin has immediate and eternal consequences. When we repent, God is good to us to forgive our offenses. However, some of the immediate consequences could remain in our lives and even worst if we keep doing wrong: Illnesses, the distress of living two lives trying to hide your sin, anguish, working all your life without peace paying blackmails, paying alimony, paying for keeping the secrets in the darkness. Working to maintain two, three homes… It’s a lot of work and pain! Your health and peace will be drained.

No matter what you do. God knows everything! God will show your sin sooner or later. Not for your shame but for your repentance. Repent. Stop doing it. Don’t wait. Ask forgiveness.

Examples in the Bible: David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11-12) and all the consequences later. In the other hand look to Joseph and Potiphar’s wife (Genesis 39).

(Prov. 5:12-14): We have been told. There is not excuse. 2 Timothy 2:22 – “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

Marriage As Provision from God (Prov. 5:15-19)

(Prov. 5:15-19): In other words, enjoy the marital relationship with your own spouse. Drink the waters of your own cistern, of your own well. Don’t go looking for strange water outside.

Where can you find your water? At home! Pleasure and sex must be enjoyed within marriage only. You have everything at home. Don’t look outside. It is a gift from God, and He is pleased when two persons -male and female- get together in marriage.

It is yours. Don’t share it. Don’t expose it for you are for your spouse and your spouse for you. Be careful and modest. Don’t expose your intimacy to others. God provided the marriage as the institution to fulfill this natural need and also to have kids. As spouses you are the perfect helpers, complements…, yes; but also, you are together for live the life, respect and serve one each other and to experience love and pleasure in marriage. It’s God design and it is beautiful. Pure spring is marriage! Enjoy and live with the woman of your youth! Enjoy and live with the man of your youth! With the person you got married. Until death or until the Lord comes.

Never look the garden of your neighbor. Don’t look at your coworker, classmate, trainer, teacher, neighbor or the brother sister in the church. Trust me: God will never be agreed in “exchange your spouse”. If you have different thinking, trust me: Is not from God. You decided your spouse voluntarily and you should keep deciding your spouse! It is a daily decision to honor and love your spouse. Every day and forever.

ONE wife. It’s singular 😉

Matthew 5:28-29 – “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

The Obvious End for The Adulterer (Prov. 5:20-23)

(Prov. 5:20-23): Why? With what need? The cost for seconds of pleasure with the immoral woman is huge. Don’t take this bet as you will lose. Guaranteed.

God knows everything! God will show your sin sooner or later. Don’t waste energy trying to hide it but repent. God is watching you. It is not a secret. It is not something that is done in under a cover of darkness.

If you are having “issues” to love and honor your spouse, pray. Pray not to change the heart of your spouse but yours. If you spouse is not showing love and respect to you, pray more. Show the love of God and be an example. Seek comfort and direction in the Word of God and also seek biblical counseling with pastoral staff. But pray. Don quite on praying and honoring the biblical roles we have been entrusted in marriage. (Study: 1 Peter 3:1-5, Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Corinthians 7)

And single: pray. God will lead and direct you and He will provide the right spouse for you. Be careful and watch and keep your and the other person testimony clean. Be patient. Live in purity and sanctity. (Remember: 2 Corinthians 6:14)